Charlie Brooker Hates Macs…

…And Claims The Doctor Would Use a PC

The Guardian’s wittiest columnist has managed to pen 900 words on why he hates Macs in response to the British version of those awful “I’m a PC” ads.

I rather like Macs, I love OS X, and I try to avoid having to use Windows like the plague, but the article’s rather accurate.

  1. PCs are the ramshackle computers of the people.
  2. They surely are. Check out Mini-ITX to see PCs built in shoes, hat boxes, old vacuum cleaners etc. It’s easy to modify a regular PC, there’s a ton of room inside. Plus, you’re not going to ruin the design; most PCs are designed to be functional rather than quiet or beautiful.

  3. The Doctor would use a PC.
  4. It’s true, the TARDIS is unreliable and always needs fixing. However the Doctor “hates computers” (presumably including K9) so the point is academic.

  5. Better at “fun stuff”, my arse.
  6. This is the real reason, in my opinion, that PCs are still so popular: you can play games on them. They’re so often multi-purpose family machines; a lot of people will compromise on the operating system because you can play games and still word process, burn CDs, etc… But if you’re running Windows and you don’t play games, what the hell are you doing?.

  7. I feel an unexpected crash coming/Charlie listened to the Windows startup jingle every 10 minutes as his PC repeatedly rebooted itself.
  8. However smug some of its users may be, OS X is incredibly stable.

However, I will pick on a few points that suggest Brooker last used a Mac in the 1990s:

  1. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults
  2. Er, no. Windows XP’s default theme is stuffed with Fisher Price buttons, while OS X not only looks great but runs on top of Unix. I suspect that this is a reference to older versions of the Mac OS, and he’d have a point there.

  3. Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?
  4. It hasn’t. It’s got two, and a trackball scroller.

About Simon Wood

Lecturer in medical education, lapsed mathematician, Doctor Who fan and garden railway builder. See for more...

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